I've Come To Rest My Heart

Medium : Durational Performance Medium : Fabric, Sand Year : 2024

I’ve Come to Rest My Heart is a performative piece that contemplates the tension between time and desire. As forward-thinking beings, we are taught to yearn—to dream, to strive, to chase. These aspirations can be a source of motivation, yet they also weigh on us, shaped by expectations we impose upon ourselves. In pursuit of the future, time slips away, and we risk losing fragments of who we are, forgetting to return to the present.

Through movement and sand, this work reflects on the act of release—the quiet struggle of letting go. It speaks to the comfort we find in illusions and the difficulty of walking away from desires that no longer serve us.

The concept of this piece originates from the Buddhist philosophy of releasing desire to end suffering. It centers around a silk pillow that is filled with sand(18kg).

In the piece, the performer carries the pillow and moves in a circle in clockwise. She attempts to move quickly with the pillow at the beginning by trying to run with the pillow. The performer eventually becomes physically tired, and starts to release the sand by walking slowly, taking pauses at certain intervals. These clockwise movements symbolize a clock face and the natural passing of time, as well as the desire for wisdom and enlightenment (In Buddhism, clockwise circumambulation is associated with showing respect, reverence, and mindfulness. It is believed to purify the mind and body and helps to generate positive karmic energy). The sand from the pillow gradually falls through, but however the performer is unable to sleep well. She reattempts to gather the sand again, ending the performance.

‘I’ve come to rest my heart’ highlights the irony of wanting to let go of dreams that are heavy to hold and struggle to walk away from comfort we find in the illusions of a false reality.

I've Come To Rest My Heart was developed through an artist residency with Studio Plesungan in Surakarta, Indonesia. This work is a response to 'Slip'(Another performative piece done by the artist) that was completed earlier in 2024 - where the artist explored different facets of time and the balance between them. The early makings of this work explored natural movements of nature that were studied by the artist (butterflies, sounds of wind, fire, rain, rivers) and Buddhist philosophies with the aid of experts and guides from the Temples in the region.

Under the guidance of renownded artist Melati Suryodarmo, I've Come to Rest My Heart was performed at Studio Plesungan as part of a residency showcase.

Image of artist engaged in an artist talk

This piece was later performed at Singapore Art Week (SAW) for the Performative Practices Lab showcase in January 2025. It was showcased again in March 2025 as part of the 'FRAGMENTS' exhibition at Hopsfield Art Gallery, where the artist presented her body of work alongside three other individual artists.

Performance documentation at Performative Practices Lab

Performance documentation at FRAGMENTS, Hopsfield Art Gallery